Our Story

What is in your paper bag? Are you alright with taking someone else’s? 

In 2018 I was diagnosed with Anorexia. I knew that I struggled with something, but I could not identify what it was. I had reoccurring thoughts around food, I had become restrictive of certain food groups -I knew there was something wrong, but the topic of eating disorders, anxiety, and depression was not one that was often addressed in my community of friends or family. My struggles did not look like the definition that I had read in my high school text books. I knew I needed help but I was afraid to say it out loud, or admit it to my community. Help and mental health struggles felt shameful – I had failed. When I finally spoke up to my doctor, I was sent to a treatment center in Los Angeles where I met a young woman with a tattoo of a blackbird on her neck. She was very quiet, almost completely silent, and we spoke only a few words. Both of us were quite different – we came from different communities, had quite different personalities and experiences, but through poetry we connected deeply on our shared experiences of shame and silence surrounding our eating disorder, and mental health discussion in our communities. In both of our communities, it was not safe or acknowledged to struggle with mental health. We both felt ashamed and alone. We wear not so different, and ironically, not so alone. I created a film to showcase the experience of this young woman who inspired me – my hidden hero – and to show others that experiencing mental health challenges is a part of being human. It impacts all communities. I created the film to highlight the importance of connection. An important message in this film is recognizing that everyone struggles with something. My mother used to tell me a story: She would have me imagine putting all of my problems in a paper bag.  She would then ask me to imagine placing my paper bag in a big pile of other peoples’ paper bags. Then she would ask me if I would like to trade my paper bag. This story was not to invalidate my own struggles, but to remind me that everyone has a paper bag, and we cannot always see what is inside of it. This story is told in the film, and began to shape the impact that we built around it. The film has now become part of the non-profit organization PROJECT BLACKBIRD Inc. That tours high schools, college campuses, and various communities reaching marginalized populations with the mission to #ShedShame around mental health discussion. We screen the film, create a panel where we feature various public figures, athletes, and celerities being vulnerable about their own struggles, and ultimately provide a resource fair and free therapy for a year paid for by our organization. As part of the program, we have our audience fill out an anonymous journal prompt: What is one thing that you struggle with? Have compassion as to why. What is one message of hope that you would like to give to both yourself, and a future PROJECT BLACKBIRD audience member? These students then have the opportunity to leave their response behind, and take home with them a prior PROJECT BLACKBIRD audience members journal. They are able to connect in real-time with a stranger, and walk away with the message that everyone struggles with something: they are not alone. Through the journey and travels of PROJECT BLACKBIRD, I have been fortunate enough as a founder to see the impact that we have. I read every journal prompt, and have the opportunity to meet the hundreds of students and adults that we have signed up for free therapy. Recently I had a young girl come to me and open up about her struggle with Bipolar disorder. She said that she felt like a different brain had taken over, and she didn’t feel like there was any hope. She said she felt like the worst version of herself, and was ashamed that she had tried everything and had failed. She could not afford therapy, and knew her family could not either, and because of this she had kept silent. After expressing to me that she did not have insurance, she thanked me for helping others, but apologized that she could not take advantage of the opportunity. I immediately corrected her – this therapy opportunity was EXACTLY for her – our hope is especially to help those who experience both stigma and cost as a barrier to treatment. As I signed her up on the spot for her year with a therapist, she cried and hugged me. The stigma is real, as is the hope. While everyone has a different route to recovery, and a different method for self-care, therapy for us has been the gift that keeps giving that all can utilize as the most vital self-care: creating an intentional space that you are in with the sole purpose of caring for yourself, dedicating time to yourself, and actively working to be the happiest, most peaceful, and most fulfilled version of yourself. It is a space that can be utilized when times are tough, and when times are good. It is a form of self-love that can and should be accessible to every individual, and safe for every individual to use. I hope everyone reading and sharing in our story, and the stories of our blackbirds, can take a moment for some good self-care and attention. Have compassion for what you might struggle with. What is in your paper bag?  When you are wronged by an angry stranger – what is in theirs? What is one message of hope that you would leave for both yourself and a future PROJECT BLACKBIRD inc. audience member? We hope you will share with us so that we can share with a future blackbird, and if you have been fortunate enough to have discovered the magic of therapy as a resource, we hope you will help another blackbird fly. Please reach out to us, follow our tour, and help us bring therapy to all communities – help us #ShedShame around mental health, and we hope you will be a part of our flock: you are not alone. linktr.ee/projectblackbirdinc We currently take the short film and proof of concept on tour reaching an 80K audience this year between College Campus events, a Sundance Film Festival and Cannes Film Festival official event and panel, and more. We are looking to create the Feature film and Series concept of this short and would love guidance and mentorship through this process as we further develop the scripts and projects. www.projectblackbirdinc.org is our organization that currently tours the proof of concept for more information about what we are currently doing to help share the message! Confirming that we have the rights to the source materials. In addition to this, If you can include the video of Kendra and I and our interview that is linked here.  You can keep the whole section from ‘Meet the Original Blackbirds’ including the text below and video! And then following the video, the story that I shared above. Then for ’The Team’ page, we will make this one the Board, The PROJECT BLACKBIRD team, and Public Figure Ambassadors (three separate sections) I have included a document here that goes over all of these people and their headshots/bios! Thank you so much for this wonderful work – loving the website so far!!